Kids say the funniest things - about politicians

Children can often reveal home truths we adults miss. Here, we speak to six voters of the future from Culcheth Community Primary School, in Cheshire, who gave some unexpected political insights
WHAT IS A GENERAL ELECTION?
India Henderson, 10: It’s a big argument that’s going on at the moment between adults who want to be the boss of everything. They’re getting very angry about it. It’s a bit like World War Two.
Tom Monks, 9: I’d call it MP War Three. It’s a fight between two sides: one side follows David Cameron, and the other wants him out. I don’t think they hit each other.
Hallé Bell, 9: I really don’t understand it, but it sounds babyish to me.
George Russell, 10: It’s actually very interesting. It’s when politicians make lots of promises, which some don’t ever bother to stand by. But some do. Everyone has to try and work out who’ll keep his or her promises and then that person gets chosen to be the prime minister.
Megan Edwards, 11: It’s actually a lot like The Jeremy Kyle Show. They’re all arguing on TV and showing themselves up.
Mathew Johnson, 10: It’s when a few groups of people join together and fight with words to become the leaders of Britain.WHAT IS A POLITICAL PARTY?
WHAT IS A POLITICAL PARTY?
Megan: It’s a party where everyone gets together to talk about who should run the country.
India: It’s a party, but not a fun one like a birthday party. All these people get together and have a huge discussion, and try to get each other to back down.
Tom: It’s a huge debate really – so say Year Six and Year Five decided to have a row about, say, football and whether the members of a team should be changed. They’d have a party to argue about it.
Hallé: Wouldn’t it be better if they had a proper party, with a bouncy castle? If they had fun, they might get on a bit better and agree more.
Mathew: It isn’t that kind of party at all. It’s a group of people who all say the same thing about stuff to do with politics.
George: Mathew’s right. But they do have parties where they throw ideas about and try and come up with things that they can agree on.
WHAT SHOULD A GOOD PARTY LEADER BE LIKE?
George: They should be like the people we vote on to our school council: truthful, kind and always stands by their word.
Tom: They should be confident but it shouldn’t matter if they’re popular. They should have good ideas – that’s what should count.
Hallé: It’s important that they’re friendly and kind. They should be very good at listening, especially to people who are sad or have problems.
POLITICIANS MAKE LOTS OF PROMISES – HOW DO WE KNOW IF THEY ARE TELLING THE TRUTH?
Hallé: If they look directly at you, they’re usually telling the truth.
Tom: But if they start trying to waste time and change the subject then they’re most probably telling a lie.
India: You have to watch them very closely. If they start fidgeting, they’re probably lying. It’s the same if they start doing funny things with their faces, like they’re trying to hold a lie in. If they start trying to be the loudest, they’re probably also lying.
Mathew: This is going to sound harsh, but I think they should have to take lie-detector tests while they’re making promises.
Megan: That’s a really good idea. You could use that to check if they’ve kept the promises they made last time they were trying to get people to vote for them.
George: My worry with a lie detector is that one of them might get someone to teach them how to breathe in a certain way so that they could still lie and get away with it. Then it wouldn’t be fair on the others.
DO YOU THINK BEING THE PRIME MINISTER IS A DIFFICULT JOB?
Mathew: Very, but that wouldn’t put me off because I’m a very forceful person and I like getting my own way. If you’re the prime minister, you get your own way about everything.
George: It would be so tiring, though. You’ve got the whole country in your hands, and what if you get something wrong? Everyone will blame you and go mad at you.
India: I’d say it would be heart- thumping. I think it’s bad enough when I have a test at school and I get one answer wrong. But usually the only person who knows is my teacher. If the Prime Minister makes a mistake, they put it on the television.
Hallé: I think I’d like it because I love performing gymnastics in front of people. The Prime Minister does a lot of performing and gets their picture taken all the time and wears fancy clothes, which would be fun.
Tom: I’d love it. You get to make all the rules. No one can tell you what to do about anything. But it’s probably a bit stressful, too.
Megan: I think it must be a really stressful job and you wouldn’t get much time to sleep. Your head would probably hurt because you’d be using it to think all the time.
THERE WAS A ROW ABOUT ONE PARTY LEADER HAVING TWO KITCHENS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
George: Talking about their kitchens? (Incredulous) I thought politics was supposed to be about serious stuff.
Mathew: Actually arguing about two kitchens? I don’t know what I’m supposed to say about that.
Tom: I have two toilets.
India: Two kitchens? I actually think that’s showing off.
Hallé: I don’t really care about kitchens.
Megan: Why would anybody care about these kitchens? Who had the idea to bring kitchens into it? Could you explain it again?
WHAT IS A HUNG PARLIAMENT?
George: I know Parliament is the big building in London where they make all the decisions and talk about important stuff. But I don’t know what the hung bit means.
Megan: It happened in the olden days. When they’d had enough of the people in charge, they would sack them and hang them.
Hallé: I just don’t know. It doesn’t sound very good though.
Tom: It’s when David Cameron gets in a really big argument and he can’t get anyone to agree with him, so in the end he just decides to give up and take a little break.
Mathew: It’s if no one wins at the election. Then the Conservatives will just carry on being in charge.
India: It’s what they did in the olden days when a politician did something bad. They wouldn’t do it to them now, though, unless they stole the Crown Jewels.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE PRIME MINISTER?
George: I’d make a big list of the promises I’d made and then tick them off after I had kept them.
India: I would go into schools one day a week and help the children who can’t read or who need extra help. And once a month I’d have a day where I would set up funfairs all over the country and all the rides would be free.
Tom: I would build mansions for homeless people and then they could adopt orphans and all live in them together. And I would also make a law that every Thursday the whole country makes up jokes and tests them out on each other.
Megan: I’d give more money to people who work hard. And I would make sure that every child without parents gets to live with someone who loves them.
Hallé: I would help poor people.
Mathew: I’d go undercover once a month and rescue children who were being treated badly.
WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE PRIME MINISTER?
Megan: David Walliams. He’s so funny and he makes really good decisions on Britain’s Got Talent. And he’s a good writer. He’s just brilliant at everything, really.
Tom: Definitely David Walliams, and not Simon Cowell. He’s too mean and moody. Apart from when he’s just been hypnotised by a dog, but I don’t think he’d do it again just to be prime minister.
Hallé: Mrs Dodd (head teacher). She’s nice and she’s already used to bossing people about so she wouldn’t be nervous. And she’s got this way of knowing when people lie just by looking at them.
George: I think Mr Chesworth (class teacher) might be better because he’s funny. He gets you to work hard but you don’t feel it’s that hard because he makes you laugh about it.
Mathew: I’d vote for Mr Chesworth. For some reason he makes me think about that politician called Boris.
India: I’m not trying to brag, but I think it should be me. I come up with some really good ideas. I think I’d be very good at it.